I've been watching Last Chance to See, the BBC's provocative series about endangered animals – and not just because Stephen Fry's number three on my gay crush list. I realise he's an unconventional choice, but many ladies do prefer someone who can entertain before and after the fireworks as well. You may find number one a more obvious pick: Rupert Everett (or as I like to call him, 'Rupert Everest' – after all, I'm equally unlikely to conquer either).

Errr... back to the show. I don't just watch to pine over Stephen. The animals are simply breathtaking – if you fancy drinking games, try knocking one back each time Stephen murmurs "Extraordinary!" – as is the knowledge we're wiping these animals off the planet lickety-split.

 

I suppose I should have illustrated this post with a picture of a manatee instead of so much male flesh, but this is my website (until Google buys me out along with every other company on earth) so I have full creative control. And frankly, manatees kind of give me the creeps (though I fully support their right to exist).

 

I once saw a manatee up close and personal, when I was sailing in Miami's Biscayne Bay, just behind Madonna's old house. Before you go thinking 'How glam!' let me explain that my friend and I ran aground in his tiny boat, and it took half an hour of rocking back and forth and jumping overboard to dislodge ourselves from the sandbar. The manatee didn't look particularly impressed (neither did the locals). Still, manatees are such gentle giants... OK, manatee lovers, here you go. Satisfied? (Next time maybe you'll trust my judgment).

 

The next episode of Last Chance to See: A Search For Animals on the Edge of Extinction is on BBC ONE on 28th of October (at 1 in the morning!) or watch it at a civilised time with iPlayer. The shows are on for a limited time, so don't delay. I'm obliged to mention here that Stephen co-hosts the series with zoologist Mark Carwadine, who is also excellent.
  

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